Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a strange concept, isn't it?  Webster's dictionary defines it as to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone) : to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong) : to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed).  Most people think of forgiveness in a religious context - to err is human, to forgive "divine" - but it is not that limited.

To try and forgive someone who has hurt you can be infuriating.  You may feel that they do not deserve forgiveness especially if they have not apologized or indicated that they feel remorse in any way.  Forgiveness can seem like an impossibility and in some cases, it truly is.  There are some things, some heinous acts, that are truly unforgivable and I'm not suggesting that forgiveness is a must in those cases.  However, one thing I have noticed in regards to forgiving people is that it can lessen their power over your emotions.  

So many times the anger and hurt and frustration can feel like it is all-consuming and slowly poisoning you from the inside out.  Forgiving someone can nullify that poison effectively.  Forgiving someone does not need to be done for their sake, nor does it mean that they are allowed back in your life in the same way.  Forgiving someone does not automatically make what they have done 'okay'.  It means that you are no longer allowing them to have power over you and your life and are allowing yourself to move on.

But what about forgiving ourselves?  Is that easier or harder to do?  When we think we have failed at doing something we become our own worst and harshest critics.  New Years especially is a time when we make resolutions for ourselves and many people tend to give up after the first couple of months if they stumble.  But we can and should forgive our stumbling, our mistakes and foibles, and yes, even our failures.  We are only human after all, and we forgive others for minor infractions far more easily than we forgive ourselves.

I challenge you to forgive someone today, even (or especially) if it is yourself.  You might be surprised at how much lighter you feel after doing so.